Posts
I've been a little frustrated with God lately. I still don't fully understand why He brought me to Atlanta, and I sure don't know where He's taking me once I graduate. And I've given up thinking about it (which is good). I've also given up praying about it (which is bad). I came to a point of feeling like I was just asking, asking, asking, and God wasn't answering. So why bother? I know this is the wrong attitude, I know God didn't bring me here and forget about me. I'm impatient and selfish, though, and I got tired of waiting. It's all a part of a bigger lesson- I've just had a little trouble catching on this time. Please pray with me that I will find my contentment and satisfaction in the Lord again, that I won't be distracted by my surroundings or lack of insight into the future.
I saw a movie this week about Africa (The Constant Gardener- great film, by the way). I cried as I saw the slums of Nairobi again and was reminded of all the amazing things I encountered there; and then I cried asking God why I'm in Atlanta, instead of there. His ways are so much higher than mine. It may be a year, or five years, or twenty years before I find myself overseas again. I definitely want to be obedient, but it's hard sometimes. I can't help but wonder if He's changing my calling- my heart sure hasn't changed. Please pray that I will be patient, and wait on the Lord's perfect timing, and that I will trust in His perfect plan.
Some good things have happened too, though. I don't think I posted here yet- The Water's Edge is my new church home. And tonight I started meeting with a women's small group. (Funny story about that-- one of my English lit. instructors from LSU is the leader of the group!! What a small world!)
O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you. Psalm 89:8
--this one's for you t-ray! =)
3 comments:
Hey Jess...hang in there girl!!! There's a reason you are in Atlanta and I know you know that. It may not seem clear, though. And you are right...how often He teaches us about His timing and His design for our lives. I'm walking through some of the same questions right now - questions about whether or not I'm supposed to finish a degree and if not, where am I to go. If so...are you kidding me? MORE SCHOOL!!! 15 hours this semester is really drying me out! My schedule is so busy that when it's time for the weekend, I'm surprised by where the time went the previous week. I too am confused about the calling. I so wish we could HEAR HIM AUDIBLY!!! I'm praying in that manner right now, that the answers I do hear from Him, though they may not actually be audibly, would be so clear that I could possibly mistake them for an audible voice!
Hang in there, girl. You're not alone!!!
Kim
www.kimbolina.blogspot.com
Hey Jess... found your last blog entry interesting. I hope you find out what it is your seeking in Atlanta. One thing I can say is that we're blessed to have you working with us at Starbucks. You're a great example to many of us on how your faith and spirituality has molded you into such a wonderful person to be around. I think you'd be surprised on how you are able to inspire in your own little ways. I know it may feel that there are bigger challenges out there for you, but maybe part of the plan is for you to recharge your batteries and stay on the sidelines before you move on to more of His work where your needed.
28sept05
hey jess - re-read your entry from 18aug - "lessons." after reading "true confessions," i read "lessons." there's a lot of good stuff in that one, and good reminders for you to read during this hard time. i am praying for ya, girl! times like these just plain stink. but they are real, so keep processing them, and lift them up to the Lord! i know even that is hard to do right now, but my advice - do it anyway! be honest with Him and tell Him it's stinky, but definitely tell Him you want to get back in tune with Him. that's the only way things are going to change. i know i'm preaching to the choir, but i know from personal experience, i've found it sure doesn't hurt to keep hearing as a reminder all these things that you really do already know. love you!!! kari
Post a Comment