Monday, October 03, 2005

Punishment, or Discipline?

I probably should have updated this a week ago, and it would be useless to try to explain where my time went last week, so I'll just pass over all that and jump right in.
After my "confessions" last week, I felt so much better to have shared my burden, not only with whoever is reading this, but with the Lord too. I decided to stay home last Sunday morning and have a good, long quiet time- just me & God. Not really knowing where to start, I began reading Beth Moore's Praying God's Word (the chapter about overcoming unbelief).
After reading and praying a while, I turned to Hebrews 11... faith has been tough for me lately. I froze on verse 8: By faith Abraham, when called to go... obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.When I first felt the Lord moving me to leave Texas, this was the verse I clung to!! It was as if God was admonishing me- You used to believe me like this, Jess. Why don't you any more? That was my first lesson.
Then I went on to chapter 12, about discipline. I don't know how many times I've read this before, but it was so fresh. Verse 11: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. This encouraged me so much! It's like God acknowledged that I'm in a difficult season, He knows where I am and He knows how I feel about it. And He also promised hope that there's a reason for the struggles and that I'll be better off for them. I'm not being punished, I'm being re-shaped.
One thing I love about reading scripture is that the Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12). No matter how much I read, or how many times, it never gets old, it's always refreshing and exciting. I realized (again) that when I'm not hearing the Lord, it's not because He's not communicating with me. I forget to listen sometimes. Ok, a lot of times. It was good to sit and listen, and hear back from Him. I'm so thankful that God is faithful when I am faithless.

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