D-Day

Well, I made it. I can't even believe it.

TOMORROW IS MY DUE DATE.

Well, Sydney's due date. Will she show up? Only God knows right now. Not that we can be upset if she doesn't- Rob and I aren't always the most punctual pair. As he put it, "Late people begat late people." So we won't hold it against her. She gets her procrastination genetically.

It's been an interesting week, and I've learned so much- about God and His faithfulness, about myself, about life in general.

I'll be honest here. Last Sunday, I hit "the wall". Up until then, I was feeling really good and was relatively content with my 39-week pregnant state. I don't even remember what happened, but I reached that point where I was finally DONE and wanted my baby out. I think the emotional exhaustion from waiting on edge was more difficult than the physical exhaustion of pregnancy. I was tired, and tired of waiting, and I wanted my little girl. I got over it though, and by Monday everything was better. Monday night I started having contractions. Bad ones. I decided to try and get some sleep, and was woken up at 5am Tuesday by the pain. "This is it," I thought. Nesting mode kicked in, and I got busy around the house. I'm not sure what time the contractions stopped- they were off & on for hours at a time all day long- but I got so much done! I mopped our whole downstairs (until I had a blister), I vacuumed our whole upstairs, I changed the sheets on our bed & the guest bed, I wrapped Christmas gifts... And then I had to go back to work Wednesday, and hear all the comments of "You haven't had that baby yet?" and "You're still here?"

It was somewhat frustrating. I never thought I was going to go full-term. I didn't really even want to. There are a lot of old wives' tales that point to allegedly "sure-fire" ways to induce labor. And I tried them all. More than once. Except castor oil, but even that crossed my mind! God gently reminded me, in the midst of all my frustration, that He is in control and there's nothing I can do to get her out on my own. How many times in the last nine months was my doctor concerned about pre-term labor, and I prayed to God to let me carry my baby full term? Even on the very night Rob and I found out I was pregnant, the doctor was concerned that the pregnancy may not be viable and warned me that there was a chance I would not have a baby this time. We begged Him to prove the doctor wrong. And that's exactly what He is doing! Why was I upset about this?

God is the giver of life, and He knows exactly the moment He's going to release Sydney Claire into our arms. I'm so excited- I can hardly wait to meet her!!

I'm so thankful for the tiny girl inside me right now. She has already changed my life. I'm thankful for the last nine months we've had together and for the bond we already have. It's been a long, tiring, emotional week- 40 weeks. But the end is in sight and we're ready for the next chapter!