Posts
This is it- my last post on "Thoughts from the Journey..." It's been a good outlet for the past couple of years, and I appreciate the four or five of you who still read it! But it's time to move on.
I've got a new name and a new role now; I'm taking a backseat to a tiny princess. And let's be honest, nothing I ever wrote about was really that interesting or exciting, and now that Sydney's here she's the most important person in our family anyway. So I'll be transitioning over to her blog; follow us there. Hopefully I'll do better at keeping that one more current (or a couple of grandmothers will be coming after me!) Check it out, bookmark it, become a follower...
One + One = Three
Thanks for joining me on the journey!
Blessings and love,
jess
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sydney Update--
Please check out Sydney's new blog for the latest news and how you can pray for our sweet baby girl!!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
D-Day
Well, I made it. I can't even believe it.
TOMORROW IS MY DUE DATE.
Well, Sydney's due date. Will she show up? Only God knows right now. Not that we can be upset if she doesn't- Rob and I aren't always the most punctual pair. As he put it, "Late people begat late people." So we won't hold it against her. She gets her procrastination genetically.
It's been an interesting week, and I've learned so much- about God and His faithfulness, about myself, about life in general.
I'll be honest here. Last Sunday, I hit "the wall". Up until then, I was feeling really good and was relatively content with my 39-week pregnant state. I don't even remember what happened, but I reached that point where I was finally DONE and wanted my baby out. I think the emotional exhaustion from waiting on edge was more difficult than the physical exhaustion of pregnancy. I was tired, and tired of waiting, and I wanted my little girl. I got over it though, and by Monday everything was better. Monday night I started having contractions. Bad ones. I decided to try and get some sleep, and was woken up at 5am Tuesday by the pain. "This is it," I thought. Nesting mode kicked in, and I got busy around the house. I'm not sure what time the contractions stopped- they were off & on for hours at a time all day long- but I got so much done! I mopped our whole downstairs (until I had a blister), I vacuumed our whole upstairs, I changed the sheets on our bed & the guest bed, I wrapped Christmas gifts... And then I had to go back to work Wednesday, and hear all the comments of "You haven't had that baby yet?" and "You're still here?"
It was somewhat frustrating. I never thought I was going to go full-term. I didn't really even want to. There are a lot of old wives' tales that point to allegedly "sure-fire" ways to induce labor. And I tried them all. More than once. Except castor oil, but even that crossed my mind! God gently reminded me, in the midst of all my frustration, that He is in control and there's nothing I can do to get her out on my own. How many times in the last nine months was my doctor concerned about pre-term labor, and I prayed to God to let me carry my baby full term? Even on the very night Rob and I found out I was pregnant, the doctor was concerned that the pregnancy may not be viable and warned me that there was a chance I would not have a baby this time. We begged Him to prove the doctor wrong. And that's exactly what He is doing! Why was I upset about this?
God is the giver of life, and He knows exactly the moment He's going to release Sydney Claire into our arms. I'm so excited- I can hardly wait to meet her!!
I'm so thankful for the tiny girl inside me right now. She has already changed my life. I'm thankful for the last nine months we've had together and for the bond we already have. It's been a long, tiring, emotional week- 40 weeks. But the end is in sight and we're ready for the next chapter!
TOMORROW IS MY DUE DATE.
Well, Sydney's due date. Will she show up? Only God knows right now. Not that we can be upset if she doesn't- Rob and I aren't always the most punctual pair. As he put it, "Late people begat late people." So we won't hold it against her. She gets her procrastination genetically.
It's been an interesting week, and I've learned so much- about God and His faithfulness, about myself, about life in general.
I'll be honest here. Last Sunday, I hit "the wall". Up until then, I was feeling really good and was relatively content with my 39-week pregnant state. I don't even remember what happened, but I reached that point where I was finally DONE and wanted my baby out. I think the emotional exhaustion from waiting on edge was more difficult than the physical exhaustion of pregnancy. I was tired, and tired of waiting, and I wanted my little girl. I got over it though, and by Monday everything was better. Monday night I started having contractions. Bad ones. I decided to try and get some sleep, and was woken up at 5am Tuesday by the pain. "This is it," I thought. Nesting mode kicked in, and I got busy around the house. I'm not sure what time the contractions stopped- they were off & on for hours at a time all day long- but I got so much done! I mopped our whole downstairs (until I had a blister), I vacuumed our whole upstairs, I changed the sheets on our bed & the guest bed, I wrapped Christmas gifts... And then I had to go back to work Wednesday, and hear all the comments of "You haven't had that baby yet?" and "You're still here?"
It was somewhat frustrating. I never thought I was going to go full-term. I didn't really even want to. There are a lot of old wives' tales that point to allegedly "sure-fire" ways to induce labor. And I tried them all. More than once. Except castor oil, but even that crossed my mind! God gently reminded me, in the midst of all my frustration, that He is in control and there's nothing I can do to get her out on my own. How many times in the last nine months was my doctor concerned about pre-term labor, and I prayed to God to let me carry my baby full term? Even on the very night Rob and I found out I was pregnant, the doctor was concerned that the pregnancy may not be viable and warned me that there was a chance I would not have a baby this time. We begged Him to prove the doctor wrong. And that's exactly what He is doing! Why was I upset about this?
God is the giver of life, and He knows exactly the moment He's going to release Sydney Claire into our arms. I'm so excited- I can hardly wait to meet her!!
I'm so thankful for the tiny girl inside me right now. She has already changed my life. I'm thankful for the last nine months we've had together and for the bond we already have. It's been a long, tiring, emotional week- 40 weeks. But the end is in sight and we're ready for the next chapter!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Resting, but not Restless
Ok, my last post was about how much I'm missing sleep. A week later- my doctor put me on partial bedrest. Um, ironic? Honestly, I haven't napped at all one day on bedrest. I've layed around a lot and watched a couple of movies A DAY, but in less than two days boredom was starting to creep in. So I decided to be productive, and I pulled out my old knitting & crocheting bag.
Over the weekend I had gone to Michael's and bought a few new supplies, totally not knowing I'd have so much time to try them out so soon! I made a few baby hats, but they needed "a little something". I found a website with free craft patterns and downloaded a pattern for crocheted flower embellishments. Now, I'm still a novice (I couldn't even read the pattern myself!), so I called a sweet crochet-er from my community group yesterday and Eloise came over to help. She patiently helped me understand the pattern and guided me through three petals before she had to leave. I was so excited when I finished- and it looked like a flower! I got to work and made several more last night (I was afraid I would forget if I didn't get it firmly into my head immediately!) And tah-dah!!! They're not perfect, but I had fun making them, and will probably be making a lot more in the next several weeks. Does craftiness count as nesting?
Saturday, October 03, 2009
This post brought to you by the letter Zzzzz
Sleep.
I miss you!
I find it pretty ironic, and somewhat heart wrenching, that everyone tells me, "You better sleep now because you won't get to sleep after the baby comes!" Well, obviously those people have never been 34 weeks pregnant! At this point in the game, sleep is a fond memory.
I love Sydney, but she's a night owl like her daddy. I lay down and she thinks that's her cue to practice tap dancing on my ribs. My doctor and all the books have said that I need to be sleeping on my left side. Apparently, Syd's not so crazy about that and she literally throws a tantrum when I try, pounding on the mattress or pillow underneath her. (I tried the right side too. Same results.) I usually end up laying on my back, slightly panting because I can barely breathe. And let's not even get into how ungraceful I am when I try to get up from my back! I have lots of opportunities every night to practice that getting up... bathroom runs, leg cramps... I'm wondering how much it would decrease the value of our home to install a pulley system in the ceiling of the master bedroom...
Seriously, though, I don't want to be a complainer. Overall, I've had a great pregnancy! I wasn't sick at all, I'm still feeling good enough to walk a couple of miles a day, my "hot" hormones didn't kick in until the fall weather arrived, and Rob has been an incredible support, doing more than his fair share of cooking and housework without complaint. He has also been more than happy to oblige my late-night-cravings for jalapeno poppers and root beer floats! I love feeling Sydney move around inside me (most of the time!) and I think I'm really going to miss that.
The reality is really starting to sink in that we are going to have a baby. And soon. Six weeks or less, soon. WOW! It's going to be the slowest and fastest six weeks of my life!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Still Waiting
Pregnancy is so weird! There are days when I'm so anxious to meet Sydney I can hardly stand it; other days I'm crying because she'll be here so soon and I'm not ready! Ready or not, she's coming- and no matter when that happens, I will be absolutely thrilled to see her little face!
My girl & I had one of those moments today I think I will remember forever (at least, I hope so!). I was sitting at my desk after lunch, enjoying a moment of quiet. I could feel Syd up high, right in the middle of my belly. I had been rubbing, but I started pressing on her a little harder- trying to figure out what body part of hers was right there, when the little stinker scooted away from me! Seriously, I felt her sort of roll out of the way toward my left side, and suddenly the spot I was pressing was very soft- she was gone from there! I felt bad for messing with her, so I quickly apologized and started gently rubbing again. A minute or two later, I felt her slowly ease her way back up, right underneath my hand. I was thrilled that she "came back", and then she gently kicked right at my palm! She may have been trying to say "Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep!" but I loved it, and immediately texted Rob to tell him! This was the first time I've felt like our interactions were intentional.
My girl & I had one of those moments today I think I will remember forever (at least, I hope so!). I was sitting at my desk after lunch, enjoying a moment of quiet. I could feel Syd up high, right in the middle of my belly. I had been rubbing, but I started pressing on her a little harder- trying to figure out what body part of hers was right there, when the little stinker scooted away from me! Seriously, I felt her sort of roll out of the way toward my left side, and suddenly the spot I was pressing was very soft- she was gone from there! I felt bad for messing with her, so I quickly apologized and started gently rubbing again. A minute or two later, I felt her slowly ease her way back up, right underneath my hand. I was thrilled that she "came back", and then she gently kicked right at my palm! She may have been trying to say "Leave me alone, I'm trying to sleep!" but I loved it, and immediately texted Rob to tell him! This was the first time I've felt like our interactions were intentional.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
So, Maybe I'm not as ready as I thought
I got a good, healthy dose of perspective yesterday.
I called my doctor Monday afternoon because I'd been having some cramps in my abdomen since Saturday. They weren't bad and not constant, so I thought maybe it was Braxton-Hicks. I wanted to be sure though (I've never felt a contraction before! How was I supposed to know what it was?) Well, I talked to the nurse and she wasn't quite as reassuring as I'd hoped she would be. They told me I needed to come to their office in the morning to get checked out, and go home and rest in the meantime. I resolved myself not to worry and headed home to put my feet up.
My sister-in-law came over to hang out with me for the evening since Rob was out of town, and she brought me a root beer float from Sonic. Have I mentioned that I love Joanna? We had a fun time catching up and I welcomed the distraction.
Anyway, I went in to see the doctor yesterday morning and instead of her normal, laid-back self, she came in and was all business without even a hello... "Tell me exactly what's going on. Where does it hurt? When did it start?" She totally threw me for a loop when she said, "We need to make sure you're not going into pre-term labor." WHAT?! I didn't know what that would involve, but I knew for sure that 26 weeks was way too early. Fortunately, she started by checking Sydney's heart rate, which was good, and I instantly felt just a little better. (If they'd checked mine at that moment I'm pretty sure it was racing) They did some lab work to send off, and thus began my very long afternoon of waiting.
After what felt like forever, the nurse finally called to tell me that the test came back negative and the labor was false. I cannot describe how relieved I was! I know that if I HAD been in early labor, the doctor could have stopped it and everything probably would have still been fine. But I'm so thankful I don't know what that feels like today.
I've said a lot lately that I'm ready to hold my sweet baby, but I realized yesterday how untrue that is. I want her to hang out right where she is for a while longer. I'll be happy to continue dealing with heart burn and leg cramps, swollen feet and clothes that don't fit from one week to the next if it means that Sydney is ok for now. Stick with me a little while longer, Baby Girl! It'll be worth the wait!
I called my doctor Monday afternoon because I'd been having some cramps in my abdomen since Saturday. They weren't bad and not constant, so I thought maybe it was Braxton-Hicks. I wanted to be sure though (I've never felt a contraction before! How was I supposed to know what it was?) Well, I talked to the nurse and she wasn't quite as reassuring as I'd hoped she would be. They told me I needed to come to their office in the morning to get checked out, and go home and rest in the meantime. I resolved myself not to worry and headed home to put my feet up.
My sister-in-law came over to hang out with me for the evening since Rob was out of town, and she brought me a root beer float from Sonic. Have I mentioned that I love Joanna? We had a fun time catching up and I welcomed the distraction.
Anyway, I went in to see the doctor yesterday morning and instead of her normal, laid-back self, she came in and was all business without even a hello... "Tell me exactly what's going on. Where does it hurt? When did it start?" She totally threw me for a loop when she said, "We need to make sure you're not going into pre-term labor." WHAT?! I didn't know what that would involve, but I knew for sure that 26 weeks was way too early. Fortunately, she started by checking Sydney's heart rate, which was good, and I instantly felt just a little better. (If they'd checked mine at that moment I'm pretty sure it was racing) They did some lab work to send off, and thus began my very long afternoon of waiting.
After what felt like forever, the nurse finally called to tell me that the test came back negative and the labor was false. I cannot describe how relieved I was! I know that if I HAD been in early labor, the doctor could have stopped it and everything probably would have still been fine. But I'm so thankful I don't know what that feels like today.
I've said a lot lately that I'm ready to hold my sweet baby, but I realized yesterday how untrue that is. I want her to hang out right where she is for a while longer. I'll be happy to continue dealing with heart burn and leg cramps, swollen feet and clothes that don't fit from one week to the next if it means that Sydney is ok for now. Stick with me a little while longer, Baby Girl! It'll be worth the wait!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Getting Ready for Sydney
Sometimes it's hard to find time to just to sit and rest (and update your blog). But what about when your doctor tells you to go home and put your feet up? Well, daytime TV was interesting for about ten minutes and here I am.
Rob went out of town last week, and I was left with the decision whether or not to keep our plans to go to Jackson, TN, and see our friends from Rob's college days by myself or not. I decided to go, and it turned out to be the right decision. I thought I was going for a baby shower for our friend Sabrena (whose baby is due TOMORROW, by the way!), but it was actually a surprise shower for both of us! The girls did a great job throwing us off, even going so far as to send out two evites- one for each of us to see a shower for the other- and have everyone respond to both. The brunch was delicious, the laughs were abundant, and the gifts were precious! (Our two little girls are going to be adorable!!) Can I just say right now that baby girl clothes are the cutest and SO much fun to shop for? Yes, it's my blog and I'm saying it! Anyway, it was a wonderful surprise and I had a blast with our friends!
My due date is three months away, and I'm about to enter the third trimester. Wow! Have I started getting the nursery ready yet? If you count picking out a crib and bedding started, then yes. If "getting started" requires actual moving of furniture or painting (or choosing paint colors) then not so much. It's ok though- I tend to work better under pressure! We'll get it done, I have no doubt about that. I'm just not sure about when... Nursery or not, I'm ready to meet and hold my little girl!
Rob went out of town last week, and I was left with the decision whether or not to keep our plans to go to Jackson, TN, and see our friends from Rob's college days by myself or not. I decided to go, and it turned out to be the right decision. I thought I was going for a baby shower for our friend Sabrena (whose baby is due TOMORROW, by the way!), but it was actually a surprise shower for both of us! The girls did a great job throwing us off, even going so far as to send out two evites- one for each of us to see a shower for the other- and have everyone respond to both. The brunch was delicious, the laughs were abundant, and the gifts were precious! (Our two little girls are going to be adorable!!) Can I just say right now that baby girl clothes are the cutest and SO much fun to shop for? Yes, it's my blog and I'm saying it! Anyway, it was a wonderful surprise and I had a blast with our friends!
My due date is three months away, and I'm about to enter the third trimester. Wow! Have I started getting the nursery ready yet? If you count picking out a crib and bedding started, then yes. If "getting started" requires actual moving of furniture or painting (or choosing paint colors) then not so much. It's ok though- I tend to work better under pressure! We'll get it done, I have no doubt about that. I'm just not sure about when... Nursery or not, I'm ready to meet and hold my little girl!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Hello Again
Yes, I know it's been a while since I posted anything. Ok, Ok- a LOOOONNNGGGG while. BUT- in my defense, I predicted that it was going to be a busy summer, and it absolutely has been just that!
Here's the quick recap...
June
I made a quick trip to Louisville for the Southern Baptist Convention for work. It was a good time of networking, but I was pretty distracted the whole time, mostly because I knew we would have an important ultrasound the day I got back! We had the ultrasound on a Wednesday afternoon, saw that everything was healthy, and had the tech write down the gender and place it in a sealed envelope that we didn't open until that Sunday (yes, we waited FOUR DAYS!!!) I wanted to keep it a secret until after my sister's wedding, so that meant I couldn't know either. We had a wonderful, humidity filled weekend in Baton Rouge with my family, the wedding was sweltering but beautiful, and then my mom got to open the big news on Sunday morning... "You're having a GIRL!!!!" Rob and I are beyond thrilled that Sydney ________ (middle name still undecided) will be joining our family in November!
July
We had our second trip of the summer to Washington DC for the Servpro national convention. We flew out on July 4 so that we could see the fireworks behind the Washington Monument from the National Mall- incredible! The highlight of the week, though, was when Rob was named Servpro's Rookie of the Year for 2008. I'm so wildly proud of him- he has worked very hard to grow a successful business and I was thrilled for him to receive this recognition. Sydney started getting bigger and stronger, and kicked hard enough for her daddy to feel her for the first time.
There's a lot more I want to update about, but I'm just not feeling it tonight. I started this post a few days ago, so I'll just put it out there and write more later. Adios for now...
Here's the quick recap...
June
I made a quick trip to Louisville for the Southern Baptist Convention for work. It was a good time of networking, but I was pretty distracted the whole time, mostly because I knew we would have an important ultrasound the day I got back! We had the ultrasound on a Wednesday afternoon, saw that everything was healthy, and had the tech write down the gender and place it in a sealed envelope that we didn't open until that Sunday (yes, we waited FOUR DAYS!!!) I wanted to keep it a secret until after my sister's wedding, so that meant I couldn't know either. We had a wonderful, humidity filled weekend in Baton Rouge with my family, the wedding was sweltering but beautiful, and then my mom got to open the big news on Sunday morning... "You're having a GIRL!!!!" Rob and I are beyond thrilled that Sydney ________ (middle name still undecided) will be joining our family in November!
July
We had our second trip of the summer to Washington DC for the Servpro national convention. We flew out on July 4 so that we could see the fireworks behind the Washington Monument from the National Mall- incredible! The highlight of the week, though, was when Rob was named Servpro's Rookie of the Year for 2008. I'm so wildly proud of him- he has worked very hard to grow a successful business and I was thrilled for him to receive this recognition. Sydney started getting bigger and stronger, and kicked hard enough for her daddy to feel her for the first time.
There's a lot more I want to update about, but I'm just not feeling it tonight. I started this post a few days ago, so I'll just put it out there and write more later. Adios for now...
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Good Month
May has been a fantastic month, and I'm a little sad to see it go. I celebrated my first mother's day and my 30th birthday, went on a fun mini-vacation with my hubby, heard my baby's heartbeat for the first time, visited with an old friend (who I hadn't seen in over 2 years), and finally embraced my growing waistline when I got to put on my new maternity swimsuit and head to the pool!
I have to say, 30 hasn't been nearly as bad as everyone makes it out to be. Rob threw me a "surprise" party (that he told me about a few days in advance)- complete with the best guacamole ever and a sombrero cake! It was a ton of fun, and the perfect way to enter a new decade of my life. I'm looking forward to my 30s!!
As for the baby, he/she is doing great! I had gotten sort of spoiled-- between my doctor's high-risk check-ups and a research study that I'm part of at Vanderbilt, I had an ultrasound every two weeks last month. It's so cool to look back at them now and see the incredible changes that took place from March 27 to April 27. That meant that this, however, was the first time I had to go 4 weeks between glimpses of our little one. By the day of my appointment, I was chomping at the bit to know that everything was ok in there. My doctor is pleased with our progression, and that strong heartbeat was sweeter than any song I've ever heard. I know that everyone says to enjoy every minute of pregnancy because it's over before you know it, but November 15 cannot get here soon enough.
And the mini-vacation? Rob and I spent Memorial Day weekend in Alexandria, VA, and Washington DC. Crowded as it was, it was a great time to be in DC. We saw a lot of the usual stuff, as well as the National Memorial Day concert on the lawn of the Capitol, the Memorial Day parade, and the American flags on all the grave markers at Arlington Cemetery. As dorky as it my sound, it made me proud to be an American. We're actually going back there in July for the Servpro convention, and I'm looking forward to seeing more.
This summer is going to be a busy one. It's a little overwhelming when I look at the calendar, but there are a lot of good things ahead and I can't wait!
I have to say, 30 hasn't been nearly as bad as everyone makes it out to be. Rob threw me a "surprise" party (that he told me about a few days in advance)- complete with the best guacamole ever and a sombrero cake! It was a ton of fun, and the perfect way to enter a new decade of my life. I'm looking forward to my 30s!!
As for the baby, he/she is doing great! I had gotten sort of spoiled-- between my doctor's high-risk check-ups and a research study that I'm part of at Vanderbilt, I had an ultrasound every two weeks last month. It's so cool to look back at them now and see the incredible changes that took place from March 27 to April 27. That meant that this, however, was the first time I had to go 4 weeks between glimpses of our little one. By the day of my appointment, I was chomping at the bit to know that everything was ok in there. My doctor is pleased with our progression, and that strong heartbeat was sweeter than any song I've ever heard. I know that everyone says to enjoy every minute of pregnancy because it's over before you know it, but November 15 cannot get here soon enough.
And the mini-vacation? Rob and I spent Memorial Day weekend in Alexandria, VA, and Washington DC. Crowded as it was, it was a great time to be in DC. We saw a lot of the usual stuff, as well as the National Memorial Day concert on the lawn of the Capitol, the Memorial Day parade, and the American flags on all the grave markers at Arlington Cemetery. As dorky as it my sound, it made me proud to be an American. We're actually going back there in July for the Servpro convention, and I'm looking forward to seeing more.
This summer is going to be a busy one. It's a little overwhelming when I look at the calendar, but there are a lot of good things ahead and I can't wait!
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Day After Mother's Day
Dear Mom,
Mother’s Day was different this year. I knew it would be, but somehow, it still caught me by surprise. I’m sorry I couldn’t be home this year. Do you remember the last time we spent Mother’s Day together? It was 2006- you and Dad came to Birmingham to help me move into my new apartment… and meet my new boyfriend, Rob.
Rob is my husband now, and I’m going to be a mom soon. So yesterday meant a little more to me. I found myself more excited than usual, more nostalgic, and more thankful. I thought a lot about the kind of mom I want to be.
Thanks for setting a good example for me, beginning with your marriage. Tomorrow, you & Dad will celebrate 36 years since you said, “I do.” Congratulations! Thanks for keeping that commitment a priority. And thank you for retiring 33 years ago, to stay at home and raise your children. I know that isn’t an option for everyone, and I’m grateful for the sacrifices you and Dad made for our benefit.
You told me one time that you “didn’t raise your kids to be independent, you raised them to need [you].” And I’m afraid that may have backfired on you! There may have been a lot of tears and guilt trips, but you let us go. Realize it or not, whether I lived in another city or state or country, I’ve always needed you. Thank you for pushing me in school (I probably wouldn’t have been an honor student on my own), for making me earn money to pay for the expensive things I wanted (like class trips), and for putting our family first (we’ve all tried to forget those years you were in school). I may be more independent than anyone ever expected, but it’s only because you gave me strength, courage, and wings to fly.
Probably the most important thing you ever gave me, though, was Jesus. I know I caught you off guard when I knocked on your bedroom door in the middle of the night so many years ago. I’m pretty sure you were scared, and praying was all you knew to do. Thank you for leading me to the Lord that night. Thank you for giving me to Him all over again at camp when we both knew at the same moment that God was calling me to missions, and again when I was in college and making myself ill with stress, and again not long after that when I got on a plane by myself headed to a country I’d never been.
I’m not going to say that I want to do everything just like you did, but then again, I hope my own children don’t act just like I did either! I appreciate you, Mom, and all you’ve done for me and taught me over the years. This isn’t super creative, or the most eloquent letter I’ve ever written; I just wanted to tell you I love you, and thank you for helping prepare me for motherhood.
Love, jess
Mother’s Day was different this year. I knew it would be, but somehow, it still caught me by surprise. I’m sorry I couldn’t be home this year. Do you remember the last time we spent Mother’s Day together? It was 2006- you and Dad came to Birmingham to help me move into my new apartment… and meet my new boyfriend, Rob.
Rob is my husband now, and I’m going to be a mom soon. So yesterday meant a little more to me. I found myself more excited than usual, more nostalgic, and more thankful. I thought a lot about the kind of mom I want to be.
Thanks for setting a good example for me, beginning with your marriage. Tomorrow, you & Dad will celebrate 36 years since you said, “I do.” Congratulations! Thanks for keeping that commitment a priority. And thank you for retiring 33 years ago, to stay at home and raise your children. I know that isn’t an option for everyone, and I’m grateful for the sacrifices you and Dad made for our benefit.
You told me one time that you “didn’t raise your kids to be independent, you raised them to need [you].” And I’m afraid that may have backfired on you! There may have been a lot of tears and guilt trips, but you let us go. Realize it or not, whether I lived in another city or state or country, I’ve always needed you. Thank you for pushing me in school (I probably wouldn’t have been an honor student on my own), for making me earn money to pay for the expensive things I wanted (like class trips), and for putting our family first (we’ve all tried to forget those years you were in school). I may be more independent than anyone ever expected, but it’s only because you gave me strength, courage, and wings to fly.
Probably the most important thing you ever gave me, though, was Jesus. I know I caught you off guard when I knocked on your bedroom door in the middle of the night so many years ago. I’m pretty sure you were scared, and praying was all you knew to do. Thank you for leading me to the Lord that night. Thank you for giving me to Him all over again at camp when we both knew at the same moment that God was calling me to missions, and again when I was in college and making myself ill with stress, and again not long after that when I got on a plane by myself headed to a country I’d never been.
I’m not going to say that I want to do everything just like you did, but then again, I hope my own children don’t act just like I did either! I appreciate you, Mom, and all you’ve done for me and taught me over the years. This isn’t super creative, or the most eloquent letter I’ve ever written; I just wanted to tell you I love you, and thank you for helping prepare me for motherhood.
Love, jess
This picture is just for you, Mom... 13.5 weeks (taken this morning)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Sunday Afternoon Ponderings
Today looked like a typical Sunday... church, lunch with friends, nap on the couch. And it was a really good day. But it wasn't supposed to look like this!
Rob and I were supposed to spend the day in Brno, Czech Republic with friends. We were supposed to be sharing memories about our time in Prague this week, and getting ready to go to Bucharest tomorrow. This week didn't turn out anything like we'd planned. (You can read the full update on our trip delay over at Gypsy Business.)
Our pastor has been preaching through the book of Exodus, but he took a break today to talk about prayer. If I didn't know better, I would think that God interrupted the Exodus series just for me, because I needed this morning's message a little more than the 10 commandments today.
For the last month, I've struggled in my prayer life. Not necessarily with praying itself, but with how to pray. I've wanted to pray boldly and confidently and ask God for something big. And I didn't. Somehow, I couldn't. At first, I felt like it was asking too much. I never doubted God's power, or His ability to answer. I just didn't believe that He would, because I didn't deserve it. I was afraid to ask for something that might not be in God's Will- not knowing for sure if it was or wasn't. Then I moved to fear of rejection- I would rather not ask, than ask and be told no. Morning by morning, I wrestled with the Lord, and never allowing myself to voice my request. "Lord, you know what's in my heart, so I'll just leave it at that. Do with it what you will." Somehow I convinced myself that was safe, and enough.
I knew that I needed to approach the Lord differently, and make my request known. I even searched for scriptures, and filled a page in my Daytimer with verses that command us to "ASK". I don't know why this was so hard for me.
The sermon this morning was from Luke 18. One of the points that really resonated with me was the idea of going to the Lord like a child. Scott pointed out that kids aren't afraid to ask anything, and generally aren't afraid to ask for anything. They ask questions and make requests all day long, curiously and innocently. Is this really what God wants from me?
Back up a couple of days, to Tuesday afternoon. At the same time I had been planning to get on a plane, instead I sat on my patio in the sunshine with my Bible. I turned to John 16, and had to stop for a while when I got to verse 24:
Rob and I were supposed to spend the day in Brno, Czech Republic with friends. We were supposed to be sharing memories about our time in Prague this week, and getting ready to go to Bucharest tomorrow. This week didn't turn out anything like we'd planned. (You can read the full update on our trip delay over at Gypsy Business.)
Our pastor has been preaching through the book of Exodus, but he took a break today to talk about prayer. If I didn't know better, I would think that God interrupted the Exodus series just for me, because I needed this morning's message a little more than the 10 commandments today.
For the last month, I've struggled in my prayer life. Not necessarily with praying itself, but with how to pray. I've wanted to pray boldly and confidently and ask God for something big. And I didn't. Somehow, I couldn't. At first, I felt like it was asking too much. I never doubted God's power, or His ability to answer. I just didn't believe that He would, because I didn't deserve it. I was afraid to ask for something that might not be in God's Will- not knowing for sure if it was or wasn't. Then I moved to fear of rejection- I would rather not ask, than ask and be told no. Morning by morning, I wrestled with the Lord, and never allowing myself to voice my request. "Lord, you know what's in my heart, so I'll just leave it at that. Do with it what you will." Somehow I convinced myself that was safe, and enough.
I knew that I needed to approach the Lord differently, and make my request known. I even searched for scriptures, and filled a page in my Daytimer with verses that command us to "ASK". I don't know why this was so hard for me.
The sermon this morning was from Luke 18. One of the points that really resonated with me was the idea of going to the Lord like a child. Scott pointed out that kids aren't afraid to ask anything, and generally aren't afraid to ask for anything. They ask questions and make requests all day long, curiously and innocently. Is this really what God wants from me?
Back up a couple of days, to Tuesday afternoon. At the same time I had been planning to get on a plane, instead I sat on my patio in the sunshine with my Bible. I turned to John 16, and had to stop for a while when I got to verse 24:
Until now you have asked nothing in my name.
ASK NOW, and you will receive, that your joy may be complete.
(caps added for my own emphasis)
Ask now. I heard the Lord, loud and clear, and I knew what He was asking of me. I knew that I needed to be bold. I've been praying a whole lot this week, more boldly than I ever have. And I'm thankful that God has repeated this admonition to me over and over the past few days. I know that God doesn't depend on my prayers, and what a relief! I am thankful that I serve a faithful, loving God who desires to hear from me- just because. I've learned to trust Him on a new level this week. And if that is why I'm sitting in my living room in Nashville today instead of the Czech Republic, it's totally worth it.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Monthly Check-in
Well, I had good intentions to post several times this past month, but obviously that didn't happen. Oh well!
Things have been going really well for us lately. I finally got curtains hung in our living room- only a year after we moved in- and they totally change the room! I love them! We invited my inlaw's over to see the finished product and shared a little bit of my New Orleans heritage with them. We had a full-blown Mardi Gras celebration, with red beans & rice, jambalaya, king cake, and homemade beignets! And you can't have Mardi Gras without beads! It was a first for these Tennesseans, and I think they enjoyed it all. We might have to make this an annual tradition!
The Dixon Family Mardi Gras
Things have been going really well for us lately. I finally got curtains hung in our living room- only a year after we moved in- and they totally change the room! I love them! We invited my inlaw's over to see the finished product and shared a little bit of my New Orleans heritage with them. We had a full-blown Mardi Gras celebration, with red beans & rice, jambalaya, king cake, and homemade beignets! And you can't have Mardi Gras without beads! It was a first for these Tennesseans, and I think they enjoyed it all. We might have to make this an annual tradition!
The Dixon Family Mardi Gras I also made a trip home to see my family and go to my sister Kayla's first wedding shower. It was just us girls at home- no husbands allowed this time! We had a really good time catching up and celebrating with Kayla. I hope my mom will post some of the pictures soon (hint, hint)!
This weekend, Rob and I have been getting ready for a long-awaited trip. Actually, we've been preparing a lot longer than that! We're going back to the Czech Republic and Romania for a couple of weeks, and for a couple of reasons. Since before we got married, we've talked about going back to Europe together to show each other around the places we used to live. I'm so excited that we finally have this opportunity! While there, though, we'll also be seeking direction for a small-business ministry that Rob has been thinking about for years. I won't go into all the details here, but you can follow us on this trip for the next two weeks at Gypsy Business. Please check in for updates and keep us in your prayers!
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Adventures in Babysitting
Last week was a really, really long one for me. Without going into all the details, I'll just tell you that I was dealing with some health issues, and when you're waiting for a diagnosis- anxiety seems to slow the passage of time. (While the end result wasn't great, it was wonderful news compared to all the horrible scenarios I had prepared myself for.) Anyway, I was relieved by the time Saturday finally rolled around.
Several weeks ago Rob & I offered to babysit for some friends' baby while they celebrated their anniversary. I told her that we would keep him as long as they wanted- an evening, all day, overnight- whatever. She jumped on our offer and started making plans for a night away. Last night was our night to hang out with Caedmon, and I welcomed the distraction from the rest of my week.
We had so much fun with him! Caedmon is 10 months old and an absolute doll. Rob was a little nervous at first, but excited about taking on the responsibility for a night. And he was awesome- he helped feed him and played with him, and even changed a poopy diaper! I've watched Rob interact with our nephew before, and I always love seeing the tenderness that a baby brings out of a tough man, but this time was different. I think he used to be a little intimidated by babies, and he's realizing that they're not so scary. It was a precious glimpse of the future, and what a wonderful dad Rob's going to be one day. While we all had a great night and got plenty of sleep- Rob and I both came home and crashed after church this afternoon!
After my nice long nap, I got out and enjoyed the rediculously beautiful weather! I can hardly believe that it's February 8, and I went out for a run in SHORTS and a TANK TOP! What in the world? (I took a picture to show you as proof, but who really wants to see a picture of me all sweaty? And besides, I wasn't exactly looking my best, and while someone else might have posted it, this is my blog and I don't have to show bad pictures of myself if I don't want to, and I don't!) Just take my word for it, the weather has been glorious this weekend, and I'm ready to get a pedicure and bust out the flip flops. Hurry summer!!
Several weeks ago Rob & I offered to babysit for some friends' baby while they celebrated their anniversary. I told her that we would keep him as long as they wanted- an evening, all day, overnight- whatever. She jumped on our offer and started making plans for a night away. Last night was our night to hang out with Caedmon, and I welcomed the distraction from the rest of my week.
We had so much fun with him! Caedmon is 10 months old and an absolute doll. Rob was a little nervous at first, but excited about taking on the responsibility for a night. And he was awesome- he helped feed him and played with him, and even changed a poopy diaper! I've watched Rob interact with our nephew before, and I always love seeing the tenderness that a baby brings out of a tough man, but this time was different. I think he used to be a little intimidated by babies, and he's realizing that they're not so scary. It was a precious glimpse of the future, and what a wonderful dad Rob's going to be one day. While we all had a great night and got plenty of sleep- Rob and I both came home and crashed after church this afternoon!
After my nice long nap, I got out and enjoyed the rediculously beautiful weather! I can hardly believe that it's February 8, and I went out for a run in SHORTS and a TANK TOP! What in the world? (I took a picture to show you as proof, but who really wants to see a picture of me all sweaty? And besides, I wasn't exactly looking my best, and while someone else might have posted it, this is my blog and I don't have to show bad pictures of myself if I don't want to, and I don't!) Just take my word for it, the weather has been glorious this weekend, and I'm ready to get a pedicure and bust out the flip flops. Hurry summer!!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Prelude to a Kiss
What is it with winter and electricity? There's the awful static cling of pants on tights, the dreadful frizzy hair, and the inevitable "shock" when you touch anything... actually, in a weird (and maybe slightly sadistic) way, I sort of like the shocks- especially in the dark. Something about actually SEEING the tiny flash of light caused by the little jolt coming through my body makes me feel a little like I have a superpower. When I lived in Prague, my heat went out for about a month at one point; I slept every night in multiple pairs of pajamas underneath EIGHT layers of sheets, towels, and blankets. One night, there were so many "sparks" of electricity when I rolled over, I seriously thought that my bed might catch on fire!
Anyway, I do this a LOT... the shocking, I mean. It doesn't matter what I touch, I've come to expect the accompanying jolt. The only one that really bothers me, though, is when I kiss Rob. My big, tough husband is apparently quite delicate in the facial area, and I've seen him literally jump back from me a few too many times this winter. Usually with a disgusted scowl, which is not exactly the look I want to see after I plant one on him! It hurts my feelings more than my lips! I've finally started remembering to touch his arm or chest with my hand, discharging the electricity before I reach up for a smooch. It's kind of funny, really, but a little frustrating too! Ok, a lot frustrating...
As for my so-called 24-hour stomach bug last week... it turned out to be more like a six-day stomach flu! I lost 9 lbs from Monday-Friday and by the end of the week I had to get 1.5 liters of fluid through an IV. It was pretty miserable, to say the least. I was out of work for four days, and didn't get to enjoy the break at all! Ugh!!
I just registered for another 5K. I can't remember if I've shared here that I'm training to run the Country Music 1/2 Marathon in April. The training runs have been good so far, but brisk! It was 31F yesterday morning when my friend, Rachel, and I started, and only 33F by the time we finished. Brrrrrrrr!!!!!!!
Anyway, I do this a LOT... the shocking, I mean. It doesn't matter what I touch, I've come to expect the accompanying jolt. The only one that really bothers me, though, is when I kiss Rob. My big, tough husband is apparently quite delicate in the facial area, and I've seen him literally jump back from me a few too many times this winter. Usually with a disgusted scowl, which is not exactly the look I want to see after I plant one on him! It hurts my feelings more than my lips! I've finally started remembering to touch his arm or chest with my hand, discharging the electricity before I reach up for a smooch. It's kind of funny, really, but a little frustrating too! Ok, a lot frustrating...
As for my so-called 24-hour stomach bug last week... it turned out to be more like a six-day stomach flu! I lost 9 lbs from Monday-Friday and by the end of the week I had to get 1.5 liters of fluid through an IV. It was pretty miserable, to say the least. I was out of work for four days, and didn't get to enjoy the break at all! Ugh!!
I just registered for another 5K. I can't remember if I've shared here that I'm training to run the Country Music 1/2 Marathon in April. The training runs have been good so far, but brisk! It was 31F yesterday morning when my friend, Rachel, and I started, and only 33F by the time we finished. Brrrrrrrr!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Untitled
I couldn't think of anything clever to title this post. I'm on day 2 of an alleged 24-hour stomach bug. And it is gross! I'll spare you all the intimate details, and just tell you that I've lost 5 pounds since Monday. Deduce for yourself how that is possible.
Spending two days in bed has allowed me lots of time to sleep and watch a ridiculous amount of Gilmore Girls. I'm pretty sure Rob and I did some cool stuff this year before I got sick, but I'm having a hard time remembering it all. 2009 has been good so far... we went hiking (and picnicking) at Burgess Falls State Park- I'll try to remember to put up some pictures soon. And we saw Gran Torino (if you can look past the foul language and racial slurs, it was a really good movie about cross-cultural interaction). We've been working on plans for a trip back to Romania and the Czech Republic in March. Oh, and a new season of 24 started, and that's pretty exciting to me. (If I wasn't so in love with Rob, I would probably love Jack Bauer.)
That's pretty much all for now. Nothing great to write about, I just felt like I should check in since I had a little time on my hands. Now I need to go get a Clorox wipe and clean my keyboard. Over and out.
Spending two days in bed has allowed me lots of time to sleep and watch a ridiculous amount of Gilmore Girls. I'm pretty sure Rob and I did some cool stuff this year before I got sick, but I'm having a hard time remembering it all. 2009 has been good so far... we went hiking (and picnicking) at Burgess Falls State Park- I'll try to remember to put up some pictures soon. And we saw Gran Torino (if you can look past the foul language and racial slurs, it was a really good movie about cross-cultural interaction). We've been working on plans for a trip back to Romania and the Czech Republic in March. Oh, and a new season of 24 started, and that's pretty exciting to me. (If I wasn't so in love with Rob, I would probably love Jack Bauer.)
That's pretty much all for now. Nothing great to write about, I just felt like I should check in since I had a little time on my hands. Now I need to go get a Clorox wipe and clean my keyboard. Over and out.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Happy 2009
I've told you here before that I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I used to, but I never kept them. Instead, I try to use January 1 as a bench-mark day to stop and look back and think of all the things I'm grateful for in the past year... counting my blessings, if you want to call it that. Here's my top 29, in honor of my final year of my 20's...
Jess' Gratitude List- 2008
1. Rob- easily my number one! 2008 was our first Jan 1-Dec 31 as husband and wife, and it was incredible! I love him more every day. (Seriously- I'm not just saying that.)
2. My salvation- it's been kind of a dry year for me spiritually, but I know that God is still good and my faith is growing again.
3. Sunshine- On our way home on New Years Day, Rob & I saw the prettiest sunset I've seen in a long time; I wish I'd had my camera. This morning, driving to work, I was blessed with another amazing sky shortly after sunrise. I'm hanging on to that as a promise of a beautiful year ahead!
4. My family- I appreciate my parents & sisters more and more the older I get, and I'm thankful that we have good relationships.
5. My in-laws- I know that it's a treasure to get along as well as I do with my husband's family.
6. Good health- 2008 will go down for me as the year I finally lost 20 lbs (and got into my smallest pants since high school) and became a lifetime member of Weight Watchers; I feel good!!
7. Old Friends- sometimes they know me better than I know myself
8. New Friends- I'm especially grateful for Rachel, Andie, Erin, and Charity
9. David- my nephew. I've never loved another face like I do his!
10. My job- here's to finding work with a Purpose
11. Servpro- for all that it means to me: the business that supports my family and keeps my house from disaster
12. The employees at Servpro- Rob finally has a good crew in place that he can trust, meaning he has to work fewer long hours and weekends. I appreciate them.
13. A really good church home
14. Our community group
15. Water- I just like it!
16. Facebook- it has been so fun to reconnect with old friends
17. My grandmothers- I've tried to be more intentional in my relationships with them this year. I'm lucky to still have them both! They have been an inspiration to me
18. Dark chocolate m&m's (just being honest. I'm thankful for them!)
19. The translators who are working with me on Share Jesus Without Fear and The Call to Follow Christ... 15 down, 85 to go!
20. My friends at work- Juliana, Stacie, Joan and Stephanie. They make my Monday-Friday happier
21. DVR
22. Freedom
23. Music
24. Yankee Candles
25. Coffee
26. Mexican Food
27. My iRobot vacuum cleaner (who we affectionately call "Danny Tanner")
28. Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest
29. Smiles and laughter that have filled our first home
I pray for you that 2009 will be a year with even more for which to be thankful!!
Jess' Gratitude List- 2008
1. Rob- easily my number one! 2008 was our first Jan 1-Dec 31 as husband and wife, and it was incredible! I love him more every day. (Seriously- I'm not just saying that.)
2. My salvation- it's been kind of a dry year for me spiritually, but I know that God is still good and my faith is growing again.
3. Sunshine- On our way home on New Years Day, Rob & I saw the prettiest sunset I've seen in a long time; I wish I'd had my camera. This morning, driving to work, I was blessed with another amazing sky shortly after sunrise. I'm hanging on to that as a promise of a beautiful year ahead!
4. My family- I appreciate my parents & sisters more and more the older I get, and I'm thankful that we have good relationships.
5. My in-laws- I know that it's a treasure to get along as well as I do with my husband's family.
6. Good health- 2008 will go down for me as the year I finally lost 20 lbs (and got into my smallest pants since high school) and became a lifetime member of Weight Watchers; I feel good!!
7. Old Friends- sometimes they know me better than I know myself
8. New Friends- I'm especially grateful for Rachel, Andie, Erin, and Charity
9. David- my nephew. I've never loved another face like I do his!
10. My job- here's to finding work with a Purpose
11. Servpro- for all that it means to me: the business that supports my family and keeps my house from disaster
12. The employees at Servpro- Rob finally has a good crew in place that he can trust, meaning he has to work fewer long hours and weekends. I appreciate them.
13. A really good church home
14. Our community group
15. Water- I just like it!
16. Facebook- it has been so fun to reconnect with old friends
17. My grandmothers- I've tried to be more intentional in my relationships with them this year. I'm lucky to still have them both! They have been an inspiration to me
18. Dark chocolate m&m's (just being honest. I'm thankful for them!)
19. The translators who are working with me on Share Jesus Without Fear and The Call to Follow Christ... 15 down, 85 to go!
20. My friends at work- Juliana, Stacie, Joan and Stephanie. They make my Monday-Friday happier
21. DVR
22. Freedom
23. Music
24. Yankee Candles
25. Coffee
26. Mexican Food
27. My iRobot vacuum cleaner (who we affectionately call "Danny Tanner")
28. Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest
29. Smiles and laughter that have filled our first home
I pray for you that 2009 will be a year with even more for which to be thankful!!
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