I never really liked peaches that much

I cannot believe myself. I'm sitting here in the recliner watching the Peach Bowl on ESPN. Up until a couple of hours ago, I was holding a ticket to this game- which is being played right here in Atlanta! Granted, I'm wearing thermals, fleece pajama pants, and a sweatshirt, cuddled up to a box of Kleenex under a blanket and sipping on OJ, and I couldn't be doing any of these things if I was actually at the game. I definitely would rather be at the Georgia Dome.
Toby, you're an angel in the form of a Tiger-- thanks for sending me the ticket!! I just wish I could have used it!
I brought the ticket to a local sports bar and gave it to the girl at the hostess stand- my New Years gift to one of her friends, or some random fan that was crazy enough to take the ticket and go (I finally gave it up about 2 hours before kickoff!) I hope someone is down there having a good time cheering for LSU.
It stinks to be sick. And it stinks to know that I have to be at work at 5am tomorrow. Most of all, though, it stinks to be a grown up, who let those things influence her into staying home tonight. But the game goes on... Geaux tigers!

You can call me "Master Jess"

Since there's no fancy title to come with my degree, and I KNOW I'll never go for a PhD and become "doctor," I'll settle for being "master"! Hehehe!!!
Graduation was so much fun. I loved being back in Fort Worth, back at Deer Creek, and back among friends. The weekend was better than I could have imagined. It was fun hanging out with so many people who I've been missing.
For now, I'm back in Atlanta at Starbucks while I pray about what God has for me next...

Break out the Pomp & Circumstance

I am proud to announce my graduation from

Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary!

During commencement exercises this Friday, December 9,

I will officially receive my

Master of Arts in Missiology.

I would like to thank the academy for this incredible honor.... haha, no- but seriously.

I'm thankful for my parents and my sisters, and my entire family, for their unending support, love, and encouragement. You have graciously stood behind me, no matter how crazy you thought I was, and loved me when you didn't understand me. You're amazing- and I love you so much!

I'm grateful for my seminary friends and classmates, for bringing smiles in the midst of stress. I'm so glad that God allowed me to journey through the past 2.5 years with such fun people.

I'm thankful for my friends who were not in seminary, for reminding me of life "outside the bubble". Thanks for keeping me real!

I thank God for everyone who has prayed for me, carrying me through seminary and over two continents. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have done it without you.

I'm thankful for professors who challenged me, taught me, encouraged me, frustrated me, streched me, and empowered me. I am stronger and more ready to face the world thanks to you.

Thank you God for tears to make the laughter even sweeter, struggles to make the accomplishments more victorious, and for Jesus, who gives meaning to it all.

Choked

So, that just about describes my Tigers. I went to the SEC Championship game last night- sad stuff! (Thanks for the ticket, Kevin!) It was horrible to watch; they didn't bring their A-game, that's for sure. I still had a great time, but it definitely would have been better if LSU had won. I guess one good result is that they're coming back to Atlanta to play in the Peach Bowl...
This past week started off bad, but it turned around. My computer crashed last weekend, but I was able to get my files recovered and turn in all my work for school- and it's done! What a relief to have everything turned in, and know that I won't have to write another paper for a grade. It's a great feeling!

Today's Quote

Lord, help me to do great things as though they were little, since I do them with Your power; and little things as though they were great, since I do them in Your Name.

- Blaise Pascal

Now, Lord, what do I wait for?

Now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You. Psalm 39:7

I've asked myself this question a lot lately, especially this past week. I feel like God is trying to teach me patience by having me wait, and wait, and wait some more. Seriously, I really thought I would know by now what I'm supposed to do after I graduate. I was nervous about not knowing the future when then end of seminary was months away, and here I sit, three weeks out, and I still don't know. I'm waiting, but I have no idea what for. Can I just be honest, and say that I'm frustrated?
I talked to a friend last night about our communication with God. He knows every thought of our minds, so we don't really need to tell Him when we're upset- He already knows this. But should we? Is it ok? Does God want to hear our grumblings? I shared that I feel guilty when I gripe at God, because I should be happy with whatever circumstance He puts around me. My friend reminded me of King David, that he was miserable throughout much of the Psalms, and he cried out to God, and then he praised Him anyway. I spent a lot of time reading through that book last night and today, and I can say with confidence that my hope is in the Lord, and I will continue to wait for Him.
The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks Him. Lamentations 3:24-25
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful- I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

INFP

That's me, or my personality anyway, according to the Myers-Briggs personality profile. Introverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving. My roommate, Erin, recently took the survey, and we're identical- she's an INFP too!! Which is really wierd, because less than 1% of the general population has these four qualities. Interesting....
Anyway, she brought home the paper that describes "our" type, and it was fun reading over this purely analytical report that pretty well describes me and the way I respond to the world. I think my favorite was, "INFPs see logic as something optional." Absolutely!! You can read more about INFP types by clicking here.
What are you??
Oswald's inspiring thought for today:

If you are rightly devoted to the Lord Jesus, you have reached the sublime height where no one ever thinks of noticing you, all that is noticed is that the power of God comes through you all the time.

(from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest)

Sign from God?

I went to Birmingham, Alabama, for a few days to see some friends, help Julie pick out a wedding dress, and pray about the potential possibility of working at the University of Alabama-Birmingham's Baptist Collegiate Ministry (BCM).
My friend Megan took me driving around the campus at UAB Friday night. She pointed out most of the buildings and told me what they were, but she didn't know where the BCM was. No biggie, I thought. We parked in a lot for a few minutes and prayed there on the campus, which was wonderfully exhilirating. I didn't get an overwhelming feeling right away that I was in the middle of my new home, but it was a cool campus (in the heart of downtown, which I loved) and I think I could see myself there. Anyway, we went to eat in another area, and on the way home she offered to drive back through the campus again. We stopped to get gas while we were downtown, and at the gas station, there was a homemade poster taped to the light post on the corner. It said "Jessica" in bold green letters and had an arrow pointing down the street. We laughed that maybe God was sending me a sign, but really didn't think about it. Well, I went into the station to use the restroom while Megan pumped gas, and before I left, I asked the girl working inside if she knew where the BCM building was, and randomly enough- she thought she did. She told me to turn at the corner, and even described the building. We went back to the road, and realized the arrow on the sign was pointing down the street where we needed to turn, WHERE THE BCM IS! I can't tell you how big the chill bumps were, or how hard my heart was pounding at that point. I got really excited though, that maybe it wasn't a coincidence for me to finally find that building.
I wish I'd had a camera to prove to everyone else- and myself- that there really was a sign with my name on it! This job is still totally up in the air, but I'm completely excited about the possibility in a new way today. Please pray that it will all work out however it's supposed to.
And by the way- GEAUX TIGERS!!! #4 this week-- fabulous!! Maybe we'll finally get a chance to play USC and regain our national title outright!!

Random thoughts from a friend...

Sermon illustrations sometimes lead our thoughts in funny directions! I got this email from my good friend, Lorie, and have been meaning to share it... (you crack me up, lo! i love you!)

I was sitting in chapel this morning listening to our speaker when he began sharing about Jesus feeding the multitude in John chapter six. He shared how the Lord abundantly blessed the meager offering of fish and bread and allowed it to feed thousands.

However, as I read along with him in the Bible, I noticed that Scripture ONLY mentions that the disciples collected 12 baskets of BREAD left over after the feeding. NO FISH. In other words, those people "tore up" that fish! It must have been fried!

Of course, I found this humerous at a not-so-much appropriate moment!! I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

Verses for Today

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

Lamentations 3:22-24

I've been thinking....

Can we ever get so far out of God's will that we become unusable to Him? Does He allow us to make decisions that will lead us off "His" path, even when we are seeking to do what is right? Does God's Will have only one right way, one right answer?
These questions have come up as I've started to think about what God might have for me after I finish seminary in a few weeks. I don't think it's His purpose for me to serve coffee forever, but maybe I'm wrong! I've talked to friends and people I trust, and they have encouraged me to continue seeking the Lord. It's hard for me to trust my own discernment, though. What if God doesn't make the right decision explicitly clear? Is it possible that He could lead me to a fork in the road where either path could be right, and I just have to choose?
I'll be honest- I don't like to make decisions! I don't like deciding what clothes to put on in the morning, or choosing what to eat for dinner- and do not ask me to choose a restaurant when other people are involved! I would much prefer if God would send me a letter or email, and say, "Jess, I want you to go to ______________ and do _____________." It scares me to think that it might be left up to me to make an informed decision and go with it.
I'm reading a book right now that points out that the most frequent command in Scripture is fear not. I'm not really afraid- yet- but yes, I'm anticipating it. Pray that God will give me a clear answer, or strengthen my faith so that I will trust Him to lead me to the right decision.

Living on the Edge

I've never been one to be afraid of changing my hairstyle. After all, it's just hair- and it will grow back! However, this was just a little too much for me to handle. Being a red-head was fun for the week, but if you haven't seen me by now, you're too late (unlike a funky haircut, I can un-do this one, and I am tomorrow!). As much as I like it, it's not me at all and I like it better on other people. Sorry, Kayla, you won't get to see this one in person!

On a more serious note, I spent Thursday and Friday at Catalyst, a Christian leadership conference here in Atlanta (http://www.catalystconference.com/). We got to hear from some amazing speakers, the worship times were incredible, and I was completely refreshed by the end of the two days. Erwin McManus, pastor of the Mosaic church in LA, talked about the story in John 9 where Jesus healed a blind man. He pointed out the irony of Jesus covering a blind man's eyes, and telling him to go (on his own) to a pool named Siloam (Siloam means sent). He then related it to how we, like the blind man, sometimes have to go blind where we are sent. Jesus doesn't always make sense in our human minds, and it's ok. We're not supposed to understand, we're just supposed to go in faith.

Does anyone really know me?

I spent a good part of today working on my Intro to Church Planting class. One of the things I had to do was take a spiritual gifts inventory, and discuss if I thought the results were accurate. It also asked if "people who know me best" confirmed those gifts, and I was actually pretty curious to know, so I called a few people. I talked to my grandmother, my little sister, and my college roommate. Before I told them the results, my Granny and Kayla both said they didn't think I would have scored very strongly on the gift that was actually highest! AND, they both chose one that they felt I had that was in the bottom three as well. Courtney (my old roommate) was fairly on target for most of the list.
Wierd, huh? I was surprised that my family didn't seem to know me, or know my heart, as well. So I began to wonder, why is that? Is it because I don't try to be "as Christ-like" around them? Or do they still think of me as I was growing up? After all, Courtney is the only one who has only known me as an adult. The more I thought about it, the more it saddened me. I should be serving my family more, and treating them better. It's easy to neglect them knowing that they will love me no matter what. No, I don't have to impress them, but I serve to be the hands & feet of Christ (not to impress men), and my family deserves that as much- if not more- from me than random strangers I don't know. I'm disappointed to realize this about myself.
I've been thinking & praying about the future again. Pray that I won't grow impatient waiting to hear back from the Lord, and that it will be a daily priority to be still and listen, so that I will be know when He's trying to answer.

Punishment, or Discipline?

I probably should have updated this a week ago, and it would be useless to try to explain where my time went last week, so I'll just pass over all that and jump right in.
After my "confessions" last week, I felt so much better to have shared my burden, not only with whoever is reading this, but with the Lord too. I decided to stay home last Sunday morning and have a good, long quiet time- just me & God. Not really knowing where to start, I began reading Beth Moore's Praying God's Word (the chapter about overcoming unbelief).
After reading and praying a while, I turned to Hebrews 11... faith has been tough for me lately. I froze on verse 8: By faith Abraham, when called to go... obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.When I first felt the Lord moving me to leave Texas, this was the verse I clung to!! It was as if God was admonishing me- You used to believe me like this, Jess. Why don't you any more? That was my first lesson.
Then I went on to chapter 12, about discipline. I don't know how many times I've read this before, but it was so fresh. Verse 11: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. This encouraged me so much! It's like God acknowledged that I'm in a difficult season, He knows where I am and He knows how I feel about it. And He also promised hope that there's a reason for the struggles and that I'll be better off for them. I'm not being punished, I'm being re-shaped.
One thing I love about reading scripture is that the Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12). No matter how much I read, or how many times, it never gets old, it's always refreshing and exciting. I realized (again) that when I'm not hearing the Lord, it's not because He's not communicating with me. I forget to listen sometimes. Ok, a lot of times. It was good to sit and listen, and hear back from Him. I'm so thankful that God is faithful when I am faithless.

True Confessions

I haven't posted anything new in a while, partly because I've been struggling with some things and I didn't want anyone to notice. But maybe it's time to share, and let others pray for me and with me.
I've been a little frustrated with God lately. I still don't fully understand why He brought me to Atlanta, and I sure don't know where He's taking me once I graduate. And I've given up thinking about it (which is good). I've also given up praying about it (which is bad). I came to a point of feeling like I was just asking, asking, asking, and God wasn't answering. So why bother? I know this is the wrong attitude, I know God didn't bring me here and forget about me. I'm impatient and selfish, though, and I got tired of waiting. It's all a part of a bigger lesson- I've just had a little trouble catching on this time. Please pray with me that I will find my contentment and satisfaction in the Lord again, that I won't be distracted by my surroundings or lack of insight into the future.
I saw a movie this week about Africa (The Constant Gardener- great film, by the way). I cried as I saw the slums of Nairobi again and was reminded of all the amazing things I encountered there; and then I cried asking God why I'm in Atlanta, instead of there. His ways are so much higher than mine. It may be a year, or five years, or twenty years before I find myself overseas again. I definitely want to be obedient, but it's hard sometimes. I can't help but wonder if He's changing my calling- my heart sure hasn't changed. Please pray that I will be patient, and wait on the Lord's perfect timing, and that I will trust in His perfect plan.
Some good things have happened too, though. I don't think I posted here yet- The Water's Edge is my new church home. And tonight I started meeting with a women's small group. (Funny story about that-- one of my English lit. instructors from LSU is the leader of the group!! What a small world!)

O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you. Psalm 89:8

--this one's for you t-ray! =)

Where is your home?

As I've watched the news this week and seen the pictures of the destruction of Hurricane Katrina, I've thought a lot about the concept of "home". What is "home" anyway?
My mom and I have discussed this idea many times, and we usually disagree- which is fine! (I love that we all have unique perceptions of the world) For example, Mom believes that home is where your family is. Dictionary.com offers several options (click the link to see those). But I've still struggled to come up with my own definition. I grew up in the suburbs of New Orleans, but my parents moved from there when I was in college, so now I go "home" to a town I never lived in myself. Sometimes I feel like my grandmother's house in north Louisiana is more "home" to me, simply because I've spent more time there with my whole family, and that's where we've gone for years. I have joked a lot about being a nomad the past few years, a wanderer without a home. But no matter what, New Orleans was always where I grew up. I haven't gone there much since my parents moved, but my roots were there.
All that to say, it's been hard seeing the images we have this week. My "home", as I knew it, will never be the same again. The city will be rebuilt, but it won't be familiar anymore. So will it still feel like "home"?
Sure, home matters, and roots matter. The history of my life and where I came from will never change, and my past has definitely shaped who I am today. It's that way for all of us. At the same time, though, I'm a much different person now than I used to be, and I definitely don't want to dwell on my old self. So, I'm back at the question, where is my home?

For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a home from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 Corinthians 5:1

Essentially, when it all comes down, that's the only home that matters. The mansion that Jesus went ahead to prepare for us, that's home, and it will never be hit by a hurricane or looted or even fade. This life is not the goal; it's just the journey to get us there. And yes, the journey is bumpy and difficult at times, and often you can't see very far down the road you're travelling. It's ok! So what's the answer? Hurricane Katrina may have demolished the city where I was born and spent my childhood, but that doesn't change who I used to be, or who I've become. And it sure doesn't change my ultimate home. After all, I'm not even there yet.

Word from inside the storm zone

Technology is amazing!! My mom was able to send out an email using a neighbor's satellite internet connection. We're all so thankful and relieved to KNOW that everything is fine. Thanks again for your prayers!!

hi ya'll, I am so excited- I feel like I have just won the lottery. better than the lottery!!!!!!!!!! a neighbor has satellite internet so hopefully you will get this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was really scary and now it is just uncomfortable. we have some roof damage, but not bad. dave put tar paper up this morning where the plywood is showing. water leaked through the kitchen light fixture. but we are so blessed! the devastation is awful. it looks like jeremy's place after the tornado- but no trailers. all our houses are spared but we have probably lost half our big trees. unbelievable. the big oaks just layed over. God was watching us and the 2 oaks by our bedroom are still standing and about half of the tree that had the swing - the rest are down. we will be picking up limbs for years. the barn was spared. we have a tree on the little carport and one leaning on the gas tank but it seems okay.

we have our generator and fuel, so we have food, water, and a way to cook it. i have been frantic to get a message to you because i know that you are worried. no phone. we may not have electricity here for a month. dave and about 15 men back here spent 5 hours yesterday morning clearing the road to 21. right now 21 is blocked but they are supposed to have the national guard clearing it today. IF we can get out, we will probably come to granny's soon. we were packing to leave tomorrow mostly to get word to you, but if you dont see us don't get excited. i need to try to get to margie's house today. she and erin stayed and we haven't heard from them. st tammany has a lot of wind damage, and roads are impassable. kayla, i hope that you are ok. i have been sick with worry. keep in touch with granny and aunt joey. you can try to send me an email, i may check back tomorrow if i can, but just let me know you are okay. i love all of you! we will probably stay a little longer now but will go to granny's soon. don't worry, i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we will get satellite internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love, mom

Now Praising!

Thank the Lord, we've finally made (indirect) contact with my parents, and have at least confirmed that they're safe! Kayla was able to get through to some friends from church who live nearby, and they have been in touch with mom & dad. They had several trees in the yard that are now uprooted, and lost some shingles which resulted in a roof leak, but are otherwise ok. They'll definitely have to head out of town since they don't anticipate the utilities returning for several weeks, but they're going to wait a few days to get things situated, and I think help the neighbors. (They're the only ones with running water since they have a generator to pump from the well, so everyone is showering at their house!)
It's such a relief to finally hear that all is well- the pictures on the news have been so disturbing. Thanks for all the prayers, phone calls, and emails as we waited!! Please continue to pray for the people who are still there, and for the ones who have suffered loss. Pray that God will be glorified as a result of this tragedy, that many will realize that the things of this earth will fade and only the Lord is steadfast. May He be praised!!!

The waiting continues

Still no word one & a half days later.... i don't like this!

Katrina

Please pray for my parents... they stayed at home to ride out the storm (just north of New Orleans), and neither their landline or cell phones are working. I talked to them this morning, but we haven't been able to reach them since the worst passed over that area.

Something I read-

I just read this in a book I'm working through for school, Miniskirts, Mothers, and Muslims. I can't believe how much I have enjoyed this one! (Thanks Dr. M!!)

How many times have we sat in a church meeting and felt isolated, or unwarmed in our hearts? Sometimes the formality of a meeting prevents people from being
natural, or cuts across direct communication with one another. Unless there is a
particularly caring group, a person could take part in worship without
experiencing direct personal contact with another.
In the New Testament the church is described as the family of God. Yet, the sense of family can be missing. It is especially difficult for people to share with others if they have nothing in common and the only shared experience is the formal meeting time. The Christian family needs shared family experiences together, just as a family does. This type of fellowship should be a regular part of our lives. It bonds
our local church because it combines two of the most important aspects of
community-based culture: hospitality and family.

I miss this...

Lessons

I'm learning a lot about relying on God for everything- to be my comfort, my friend, my strength... Until this past week, I was totally content, and the Lord consistently reminded me that my joy comes from Him, not from the things He's given me. I see now how I've let other things get in the way of that contentment. My times with Him are becoming more stable and more frequent. He's teaching me the meaning of the statement "You're all I need." For example, a few nights ago I was at the gym- feeling pretty tired and cranky- and I couldn't focus on my music or the book in front of me (while I rode a bike). I finally put it all away and spent the rest of that time praying and trying to clear my head. I was able to get a grip and found myself in a better frame of mind. It seems so simple, and I'm ashamed that some of these lessons seem so new and fresh to me.
Right now I think my biggest struggle/dilemma is knowing how actively I should be looking at my options for the future, or if I should just sit back and wait for God to put something in front of me. Should I be patient or pro-active? I have a hard time trusting my own discernment most of the time. I need some direction, even if it's just as simple as "wait" or "explore the possibilities".
In the midst of the confusion, though, I know that God is still good. He brought me to this place, and He will not leave me alone. It may not be the most comfortable situation all the time, but the Lord is drawing me closer to His side, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Girls just wanna have fun

Yesterday I returned to GA after 4 incredibly relaxing days at the beach with three of my best friends. Tracy, Lorie, Julie and I met in 2001, while we were all working in central Europe. We took a vacation to Greece and Macedonia together that Thanksgiving, and vowed that we'd have a reunion trip every few years. Earlier this summer, we were at one time all on different continents; last week was the first time we've all been together in four years! It was so good to catch up, laugh, eat junk, talk, relax in the hammock, and pray with these girls. It's funny- we're all so different, yet God has woven our hearts tightly into a beautiful, unique tapestry. For example, we couldn't help but laugh at the variety of reading materials we brought out to the beach one day- Let the Nations be Glad by Piper, The Feminist Mistake by Kassian, Self magazine, and Harry Potter. (I'll let you guess who was reading what!) We had so much fun!

Hopefully I'll have time tomorrow to share all that the Lord has been teaching me lately!

Currently homeless

God has given me so much to be thankful for. Although I still don't know "why", I know that He brought me to Atlanta for this time in my life, and it has been a sweet season of spiritual renewal so far.
The hardest part of moving, though, has been finding a new church home. I've been in a different church every Sunday for the past month, and still haven't found one that feels like home. Not even a little bit. Deer Creek Community Fellowship (back in Fort Worth) spoiled me. I've never really been a fan of mega-churches, or even large churches, but I thought that maybe if I found one with a good singles group and lots of people my age I could get over that. A shepherd is suppossed to know his sheep, though, and I don't want to be just a member of another church where my pastor won't know my name or recognize me in the grocery store. Also, I want to meet friends who share my passions & feelings about the church being a community of believers who treat one another like family.
And while I'm getting some of these things off my chest, can anyone explain to me how fancy light shows and smoke machines are suppossed to bring me closer to Jesus? Three out of four churches had one or both of those things! And I don't understand it. People feel the need to make the church more "seeker-sensitive" and appealing to non-believers, but when did Jesus and the Cross stop being enough? Do we really need a gimmick?
You might have guessed that this is something I'm really struggling with. I stayed in this morning and had a great time with the Lord, just me & Him, and tried out another church tonight, but these feelings were reinforced again. I know that I need fellowship with other believers, and I don't enjoy being a visitor week after week. Please pray for me that I'll find a church to call "home" soon!

Thankful

Have you ever seen the show "While you were out"? I surprised Lisa this week by rearranging her living room while she was at work one day. I spent the day Wednesday shopping for new lamps & new curtains, and Thursday I got up early and set to work, moving furniture and putting up the new stuff. It was tough moving the couches, but I had fun knowing how shocked Lisa would be. I just wish I could have been there when she got home from work that night... I had to work myself that night. She was so surprised- and it felt good to know that I had blessed someone else.
Work is getting better & better. With every shift, I feel a little more confident about the job I'm doing...
Kayla just called me. A deer ran out in front of her car last night when she was on her way home, and she flipped her CRV three times. Miraculously, she got out with only a few scratches and bruises. Strange enough, her accident happened at almost the same point on the highway where I had my first and only wreck five years ago, "give or take a few feet" according to my mom. I'm so thankful she's ok.

Craziness!

Last night I was talking to my little sister, Kayla, and I told her I was thinking about trying a Spinning class. "Why?! Spinning people are CRAZY!! That stuff is nuts!" she told me. I'd never actually seen a Spinning class before- just read about them and thought it could be cool. But I also had already told my friend Rosalyn and her mom that I would meet them at the gym this morning for the class!
Now, if you don't know what Spinning is, it's an insanely intense workout on a stationary bike. You are constantly standing up, then back down, then up, then down (you get the picture) and all the while adjusting the tension to simulate riding up & down hills. I can't remember the last time I sweated so much in an hour! Kayla was right- it IS crazy- but I had fun, and I think I might try it again.
As a result of my spinning class, though, I had a rough afternoon at work- my legs were SORE and it was hard to stand for several hours straight. Triple venti, half-calf, 4 pump, sugar-free hazelnut, non-fat Latte, anyone?

TGIF

Seriously, I have tried to post to this thing several times this past week, but every time something has kept me from it (obviously, since there's nothing new). Twice I got caught by the clock and had to run out before I was done and couldn't manage to recover what I had written, and the one time I had enough to time to write a LOT and finish putting all my thoughts down, I hit the wrong button and erased it all. Oh well!
So anyway... it's been a really, really good week. I have to say, I am LOVING my job as a barista! Yes, it's still a ton to learn, but the people I work with are so nice and fun, and I've had lots of opportunities to meet customers, which is very cool. And I can have all the coffee I can drink! Also, my dad stopped here on his way to Charleston for work, so I got to spend some time with him this week and that was great.
There have been a lot of things this week that have been incredible, and while I would love to count all the ways God has blessed me the past few days and share that long list with you, it all seems unimportant. The bottom line is- every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows (James 1:17). God is teaching me to look to Him in every single thing, bad or good, and find my satisfaction in HIM, not in my good circumstances. Just like Peter, I will most definitely sink if I take my eyes off the Lord. I am so grateful for all He has provided, but ultimately, I'm most thankful for Jesus, who gives me life every day.
The other thing God has taught me recently (ie: in the past 12 hours) is that everything He's teaching me is for RIGHT NOW. I love to read Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest at night, and last night was a big one for me. I had just been talking to a friend about how good things are going and how God must have amazing plans for me here (because things seem to be going so well), and Oswald reminded me that this isn't necessarily the case. The title of the devotional was "After obedience- what?" and the whole point was that God looks at our obedience, He's not trying to teach us obedience to prepare us for something else. Obedience is it! "His purpose is for this minute, not for something in the future...what men call training and preparation, God calls the end... it is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God." It was a little scary to read this last night and think, "Wait, maybe there's not some huge plan that this is getting me ready for!" but as I re-read the devo a couple of times, got some good sleep, and woke up and had a good long chat with God, I know that He still has a plan for me, and I trust that it's better than anything I could come up with on my own. But now I realize too that all this stuff I've just shared with you, this is the conclusion He wanted me to come to today. He might build on this lesson tomorrow or next week, but it's not about the future- it's about now.

Sattelite, in my eyes, like a diamond in the sky... (dmb)

Well, I survived my first day of barista training! It was a little overwhelming and a lot of fun! I made more frappucino's than I can count today, and only spilled one of them all over me (it's harder than it looks to get that stuff out of the blender!) I'll keep training the rest of this week and all next week, and then get certified next Friday. Who knew you had to be certified to make coffee?!?!?
Last night I went to 7/22. (www.722.org if you want to check it out) It's a HUGE bible study for singles in the Atlanta area. I don't know how many people were there, a couple thousand maybe? Anyway, it was more like a rock concert or sporting event- standing room only in the aisles and along the walls, lines out the door for the restrooms, chaos leaving the parking lot... definitely not what I'm used to after Deer Creek, but it was amazing. I kept thinking how cool it was that no matter what had drawn all those people there, they were hearing the Word of God and praising Him. Pretty amazing stuff. The speaker, Louie Giglio, gave a great talk about grace. He used some neat illustrations, and it all sparked a flood of thoughts that keep the wheels in my head spinning well into the night.
The theme of the message was "Grace = God at Work". For it is by grace you have been saved... for it is by [God at work] you have been saved. Something to think about. One particular illustration that got me thinking was- we cannot fathom the sun's brightness, which led to thought that in the same way, the Son is unfathomable because of His brightness. We will never- can never- fully comprehend his righteousness, mercy, or grace. Incredible! I love the sun and the Son, and I really like sun: Son analogies. I can't remember where I heard it, but my favorite is-- As the moon reflects the sun, may I reflect the Son. The moon would be nothing and of no worth to us if not for the sun. In the same way, I would be nothing without Jesus. I wouldn't even be alive! That alone should compel me to action for His glory.
Pray that I would be the moon at Starbucks. I don't want people to look at me and see a girl who moves around a lot or even a religious person. I want people to see Jesus.
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should NO LONGER LIVE FOR THEMSELVES BUT FOR HIM who died for them and was raised again. 2 corinthians 5:14-15 (emphasis added)
ps- i got a pet!! my friend rosalyn gave me a red & blue beta fish as a housewarming gift! her name is ruby, and yes- her new home has a lid (in case you're concerned)

Genesis 9:13

I saw a rainbow tonight as I was driving to the coffee shop. I was thankful for the reminder of God’s faithfulness.

So, the big news is that I’m now gainfully employed! YAY!!! I’ll start working at Starbucks this Wednesday, and I’m pretty excited about it. I definitely think it’s a job I’ll enjoy. I am so ready to be working in an environment that will regularly put me in contact with lost people. Not that I didn’t love working at the RAC, because I did. It’s just that I was a light in a sea of lights, and I’m excited about spending some time in the dark, letting my light shine.

God and I had a really good talk last night. I want to share a few of the thoughts I wrote in my journal last night…

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high- I cannot attain it. Psalm 139:6

God is a mystery- and I think I like that about Him. How much better is it that God knows all and I don’t. He knows everything I did and everything I thought today, and He knows exactly what my tomorrow will look like too.

This life is kind of like a birthday, or Christmas.
I know (or at least I think I know) what I want and what would make me happiest.
Sometimes I tell people exactly what I want. Other times I say, “it doesn’t
matter,” but there’s always some desire. There is always anticipation before
receiving the gifts, except it’s not the same when I know what I’m getting.
There’s just a little more adrenaline when you unwrap a surprise. There’s
something fun & exciting about not knowing what you’re about to get.

And that’s life, too. It’s mysterious and exciting!
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. Thank you for surprising me Lord.

It's been a good day. I love it when God reminds me of His presence and His care for me. Thanks for all the prayers- my times with the Lord have been sweet the past few days.

I think i have a job!!

Just wanted to share the good news- I had a job interview at Starbucks this morning. As soon as the manager gets the ok from her boss to hire a new person she will call me. I'm hoping to know for sure by Monday. YAY!!!!!!!!

Already learning & streching

I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. Psalm 9:1

So, this morning I got a lesson in being thankful for all my circumstances. I had plans to meet one of Erin's friends, Amanda, for breakfast. When I went to take a shower, something wierd was going on with the water, ie: there hardly was any! Granted, there was a steady trickle, but definitely not enough to shower. "Great- now what do I do?!" I was about to call Amanda to bail on her (I was in no shape to go out in public without a shower, especially to meet a potential new friend for the first time!), but I really didn't want to cancel. I decided to grab a big coffee mug and bathe African style. After all, I just spent two weeks in the bush, bathing with only a bucket and mug. As I stood there, I couldn't help but laugh to myself. "I expect stuff like this in other countries, but not in America! Thank you, Lord, for using Kenya to prepare me for Atlanta!"

I'm slowly getting settled and adjusted to my new surroundings. Already, though, I've found myself getting caught up in the busy-ness of things I "need" to do, and putting other things before my time with the Lord. I don't want to settle for this; I can't. Thank you for being faithful, God, even when I'm not.

The Journey Begins

I spent my first night in Georgia last night. So far, so good!! haha!
Seriously, I arrived in Sugar Hill about an hour before Hurricane Dennis did. My new housemate, Lisa, was waiting (and excited!). She's a neat lady, and I think we're going to get along well. Erin is going to be here and move in next weekend.

Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts. Isaiah 26:8

I went to Clearwater Community Church in Birmingham yesterday with Tommy, and the pastor referenced this verse. It was already underlined in my bible, but it fits me so perfectly right now. I want to commit to walk in the Lord and wait for Him these next few months, and His name and renown are the desire of my heart. Pray that I will glorify Him in all I say and do.

In Transition

I'm home in Louisiana now (listening to the report of Tropical Storm Cindy at the moment).
It was hard saying goodbye to Texas, my home for the past two years, but I'm so excited about what the future holds. My family had a great reunion this past weekend! It was fun seeing everyone and just relaxing in the lake. Now I'm at my parent's house for a few days, spending some time here with them before I take off to "Hot-lanta". It's been good so far.
I'm ready to see what's around the next turn in this journey... what kind of job will I find? who will be my friends? what is God going to teach me? As I've thought back on my time in Kenya as I recounted the trip to my family, over and over I've seen just how faithful God was.
The power just went out, so I need to post this and shut down the computer. Welcome, Cindy!!
(ps- Happy Birthday Dad- I love you!!)

3 days til takeoff...

I went to the Rangers game tonight with some friends... sort of a going-away party, of sorts. It was fun hanging out with everyone "one last time".
This morning it hit me that I'm leaving Fort Worth in three days. Wow. I'm so ready, but then again, not really. I've been thinking a lot about the past two years that I've spent here... places I spent time, people I built relationships with, all that sappy sentimental stuff. It's been good to reflect though. I did a lot of things wrong and a lot of things right. No regrets here. It has been an incredible, unforgettable time where I have learned and gained so much.
I'm going to miss ya'll

The beginning of the end (of this chapter)

Today was my last sunday at deer creek... I love that church! It's been so good to be a part of that community for the past year. I had the opportunity to speak this morning and share what God did in and through me while I was in Kenya. We sang this song, and it describes my heart so perfectly right now. (The picture is Ellie, me, Suzanne, Becky, and Lily- the girls from my Life Group.... we miss you Susan and Riley!!)

To the Ends of the Earth --
Hillsong Music Australia
Love unfailing, Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again, Fear is lost in all You are
And I would give the world to tell You're story
Cause I know that You've called me, I know that You've called me
I've lost myself for good within Your promise
I won't hide it- I won't hide it
Jesus, I believe in You And I would go to the ends of the earth,
To the ends of the earth, For You alone are the Son of God
And all the world will see That You are God You are God.

It's sad that the goodbyes are already beginning, but I'm so excited about all that is to come. I have no idea what God has in store for me, except that He's promised that it's better than anything I can imagine.

Refine me, Lord, and make me useful.

Trial run

I have no idea what exactly I'm doing right now. Jason told me tonight, "you need to get a blog." I've looked at a couple of friends' and it looks like a cool way to let people know what's up with me, but I should have titled my page "Technological Idiot" because, like I said, I have no clue what I'm doing.